It's super annoying that I see my deaf female friend get hit on all the time by guys, but it's a huge struggle just for me to get a hearing girl my age, mid's to go out on a date.
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I love how you didn't add the other option, "deaf but doesn't know how to sign". I'm married to a hearing husband and he doesn't know how to sign. I'm the only deaf in my family and his, so I'm learning to sign and he's learning too. If I had to do it all over again, I'd still marry my hearing husband.
I'm in a relationship with a hearing person. At the time we met, he didn't know any signs. So we communicated on the phone and used Skype with instant message. I started teaching him ASL and he learned remarkably fast! Over a year passed, he can communicate fluently in ASL.
Yet, he has a lot to learn but it's great that he can learn that fast! We don't need to use anything to be able to communicate, so that's how good he is. To have a relationship, the level of person's hearing doesn't matter to me, the attraction and chemistry do. The funny thing is before he met me, he thought ASL was awesome but didn't learn because he thought he probably wouldn't meet a deaf person: I grew up profoundly deaf mainstreamed but oral and with a sign language interpreter in the classroom.
I've had and continue to have deaf and hearing friends.
I've also dated both deaf and hearing women. Significant others cannot be generalized as all people are different, regardless of hearing, but there are some thematic pros and cons. For example, if ordering in a noisy restaurant, significant other can help facilitate communication. Less need to invest in technologies such as a vibrating fire alarm or baby monitor. Less likely to get hit by a car when walking together. The Deaf Community is shrinking and becoming more isolated. Harder to meet deaf people that match your personality these days. Attending Deaf events with a hearing partner isn't always fun, even if the hearing person signs.
The culture values simply aren't there. Same could be said for a deaf person attending an all hearing event. The mutual struggle can reinforce the partnership. Not always but mostly. Yeah, the second to last one resonates pretty well and painfully with me, but my SO is incredibly understanding and so it definitely alleviates things. Otherwise it would have been a core theme in the relationship and a bad one. But honestly, I couldn't ever see myself being with a Deaf man for life I'm totally deaf since birth, but I can speak fairly well and rely on sign language to communicate with most people.
The Question: Can relationships between deaf and hearing people work? (BSL)
Deaf Culture We have a Discord! Any questions about "deaf voice" will be likely to be removed. Don't ask for money. Please report any posts that fail to match these guidelines. Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet. Become a Redditor and subscribe to one of thousands of communities. For both men and women: Or does it just not matter at all to you? Want to add to the discussion? Nope, not unless it's for booty call. So, I guess you can say, "it does not matter to me".
I'd rather have someone who already knows how to sign. The deafie is always last to laugh at a joke after everyone else has laughed together!!!
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Not enjoyable at all. Naturally, all relationships have the potential to break down but if their love is strong and genuine it will beat the mightiest of storms regardless of communication tactics! Jason, thats a great BSL clip! You are so right too!! Deaf person in a hearing group is so lonely!!! Its very hard work to lipread everyone and you miss lots of puns and nuances aswell as the jokes! But the Deaf Community is the perfect environment for group gatherings.
You made a great point about hearing people being able to use their eyes and pick up BSL, allowing them to follow us, but Deaf people cannot pick up with their ears in a hearing group!!
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Good Luck with all your Girlfriends, Jason! You have a great personality! I know 3 Deaf sisters… two of them married to hearing men just after the war..
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Their grandchildren are both Deaf and hearing and their very young hearing children all sign to each other just like their elders. A truly fantastic and loving family!! I often miss the punch line and get told I will be told later. I was never allow to hang about with his friends and never knew who they are. I am now in a relationship with a deaf man who is my husband and things have pan out how it should, he never hold me back and nor me to him, we actually supported and encourage the goals and dreams of each other.
It can work, but like you say, its hard work. Then again, so is any marriage. So he was already deaf aware. Communication and tolerance is the key here for us, I have stopped walking away when we argue whilst he is working on not calling through from another room which really is irritating! Our children are the most patient and tolerant of any of us. One has a classmate who is deaf and she is very much an advocate for him, ensuring he has heard things, that he is not misunderstood and is included in playground games.
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