Dating etiquette in germany




Making the first move in Europe

That he appreciate the fact that i accepted his friendship. He said but you should not break your heart. All these happen within some days and we have never met. Though we are in contact but dont know what to do. You will not be able to persuade them otherwise. For one, you will reduce their faith in their decisions if they were to re-decide, based on getting to know you sooner.

I think that they have a precise idea of what they want and are going to let a woman please their ego with their attention, maybe sleep with her but maybe not, as they seem to really commit themselves to this looking for the one. Sex would be limited to mutual masturbation or even less, uni directional. I would say…a German gives his heart at once or never will.

German dating etiquette - Germany Forum

I would advise you not to let yourself be in this position. Yes, you fell for him, but I am sure you have been here before and you know eventually you must admit defeat. Seriously, wait until a guy says wow, I must have you, you make me feel like I want to be here. Otherwise they really like a woman draining themselves for them. They sit back and drink it all up. Guys sadly date cause they are desperate for something physical But then they move on without having given of themselves. Get your own without giving your heart if you need that, but not with him.

This sudden wanting to see you is probably a booty call. He has said so. One has to wait until a guy is entirely tired of the game. We are all in the same boat! You will win the lottery first! I really appreciate the effort you did by replying me. Yesterday my german man chatted with me. After going through again in some mails here i woke up and decided to send him a message precisely a friendly flower and my best saxo music by Kenny G.

Dating German men

He replied me with thanks and appreciation. During the afternoon I wasnt expecting his messages as he told me he will be with his family. So he sent me his family pic mum and his sisters. I replied by sending some of my family members to him too. So as he reached home later he chatted with me from 6pm till noon at night.


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I saw it as an opportunity to console him told him my own little experience in life too. He asked me what i could do if he happens to have someone as a partner. I understand that he want to fly like beautifly for all these years he has been caged. That i will support him in his decidion but will always be a shoulder to cry on if he want.

Then i turned the table around begin to advise him on what to do to keep those ladies. I said no will support you in your decision in as much as it pleased you. Then I asked him those three ladies are they aware that you are seeing each other? He said firstly he has met 2 in real life that he tells the first almost everything but the second has alot of complication has kids always asking for money and he just want her for sex.

I ask who is the 3 person ofcourse you though we have never met but he finds me so intelligent and we have similar charaterstis. That he respects me for the fact that am so much grounded and have empathy for others. That all these while he doesnt want to offend me by letting me know about other women. He was so much relieved and said he has never discuss these issues with anyone before but only me. That it seems life can be easy with me. He said soon he s going to stop that online stufff toob many women if not he will not concentrate on what he is looking for.

He said now I know why he is running away am I comfortable with his decision. I said I will support him explore and make chioce. You have just told him to look around and that you will be there. You hope your loyalty will be repaid. In your experience, has your loyalty been repaid up until now?

You live far away, and you are willing to buy a plane ticket and show up, if he has time for you in August. Would he want to be responsible for you here when you know his secrets and he is happy dating around? How will it grow while you are apart? I know, he sent you photos of his family. You feel absolutely generous to a complete stranger—he might as well have landed with a boatload of new immigrants.

You want to help him with his future. Well, you will be his social worker. Do you want an adult partner or do you want to do good volunteer work? I hear you building up this into something, but it sounds very familiar. Be your own social worker and be understanding to yourself. You should have dates here that are fun, without spending money on a plane ticket.

That is like beauty, expected, and other women are also kind and lend an ear. You should be laughing, finding similarities, and not talking about problems. My opinion and I know it is not what you want to hear. You are giving way too much out for six hours of conversation and a few photos. Especially when there are at least two to three others who are dancing for him. Hold back on your emotional investment!! This is not love yet, or maybe even later.

Thanks for pouring your heart out. Meanwhile am not flying down there for his sake am just relocating finally in Germany. I think one of the reasons I wrote this online is to get peoples opinion like yours. I am greatful and actually am not putting my eggs in one basket funny enough i have alot of people who are on the same site asking me out for coffee while some are busy asking for sex directly lol. So when am there I look around to know how things work there. Glad you were open without getting defensive. Good luck, stay flexible and sadly, remember that men are really used to hitting and running in dating app world.

I was lying out by the pool and it took him awhile to talk to me because he thought my brother was my boyfriend as he explained later. He was very kind, talkative, interested in getting to know me no small talk , respectful and we had so much in common. Later on in the night, as we were out enjoying drinks, music and talking he finally leaned in and kissed me. It was really passionate and I felt very comfortable with him. At the same time he was very respectful, not trying to do more than kiss me and hold my hand. After getting back to our hotel, we can into my family again and we all actually sat down and ate together.

After we finished eating, we both said good night, he kissed me on the cheek and we went our separate ways. I was leaving the next morning and he said that he wanted to see me before I left. We saw each other while he and his friend were having breakfast, we chatted for a bit and we said bye. Before leaving he said he wanted to come visit me and he was going to try to visit before he went back to Germany. Later that day I got a text showing me picture of flights, he was planning on visiting me for a day and a half before he went back to Germany by plane it was only 1 hr away so he kept insisting that he come and see me.

However, it was going to be very difficult for him due to work he has his own business , futbol practice he plays on a league and the time difference Germany is ahead 9 hrs to where I live. We kept calling each other during the day and I heard in his voice that he was over the moon to come out and spend time with me not exaggerating.

I was disappointed of course, but what could I do? He apologized the next morning and everything was fine. We have a lot in common- family life, values, career, sports, music, how we think and analyze things, the list goes on and on. He sends me voice messages a lot over whatsapp because he knows I like to hear his voice. Do I mention something to him without sounding needy? If I do, how should I approach it? Do I just sit back and let things happen organically?

I hope someone can give us advices on this haha. I met a German guy 27 through an app while I 23 was in Germany, he works in Switzerland. We would chat alot sometimes I would forget to reply, sometimes he would and that continued for a month and a half. I had an opportunity to visit him in Switzerland for two days so I booked a bus ticket and we decided to hang out together from Friday evening. Things went really well, he bought dinner worth euro he earns alot so i guess price didnt matter to him..

Whereas to me it did and then we went street partying and ended up kissing for 4hours and then he walked with me all the way to my hostel and decided to see each other again the next day. So saturday I spent the whole day with him, he suggested not taking the bus back home so I cancelled it and took the other one on Sunday morning so saturday evening i stayed at his place, making out but no sex.

But he admitted that he never fell so quickly for someone like this before and we both verbally said that we liked each other alot. And he said that he would come to my residing city in Germany on the end of the month because he had work anyways. And then I went back to Germany. After that we messaged everyday, he went to asia to travel for two weeks holiday and we would write when possible..

Turns out, his work schedule changed and he had to go to another city in Germany instead of Munich where I reside, but he still managed to come all the way from Friday afternoon till Sunday morning. He left his workplace on friday early for me..

14 Dating Culture in Germany (Etiquette and Custom)

Booked a hotel for his stay but I was also allowed to have breakfast and use the lounge etc.. Maybe I should have.. Anyways I left Europe, now back to my home country and he said he will visit in November but nothing is sure.. And we do text everyday but I dont know if its because of the time difference or if it is because of his text style but I only hear from him once a day, maybe messages on whatsapp, very short and just informative ahaha and I dont know what I have to do because the text is not enough for me..

I like him alot but I dont know what is in his mind.. Was I just for fun, did he come all the way for sex or smth he would never be flirty through text! I met a German guy online, this website is for people who learn the German language. He messaged me first then added me on skype. Then at first he seems to be so eager to know me. He also told me about his siblings and some other stuff. Those things happened for two days only.

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On the first day we had video chat, then wow omg he was so handsome. His smile is so charming, but he looks so tough. He seemed to be comfortable talking to me. Then when I saw my profile on that website where we met I saw that he unfriended me. Then on the second day, I chatted him first then he replied and asked me about my plans in the future and how long have I been single. I told him wow what a random question. I then asked him why do you ask? THen he said why do I ask what?

For me to get to know you more.. All that stuff, my comment is getting so long now. Then now, I just chat him earlier I said sorry for disturbing you today then I asked him to translate something for me in German.

German dating etiquette - Germany Forum - TripAdvisor

He just said bitte and never asked ff up questions. I like him but he broke my heart: We both got along really great and he would do little things like put his hand on my back and turn to look at me and smile for no reason, but he would never kiss me, hold hands or anything like that. And he would always want to pay for everything. Then on our 9th or 10th date, he took me up to the rooftop of his apartment to stare at the stars. I was thinking it was all very romantic and he was finally going to kiss me.

It came so out of the blue that I just told him I was fine with being friends. Because you can stay and sleep in my bed. The next time we got together he asked me if I was dating anyone because he admitted to looking at my dating profile and saw I had put up a new photo. Then for the whole rest of the date he would continue with the small touches on my back and at one point put his arm around me. Toward the end of the night, he kept trying to prolong our outing by suggesting we stop at different places for a drink. Then a few days later he left for Germany to visit his family and texted me while he was there.

I sent him a text back and have received no reply. I can relate in some of the stories. We decided to meet in person but it took a while because of our busy scheds. But when i met him, he was really nice, he paid the bill tho i offered to split it. He was gentleman,cute and intelligent l. We had a nice convesation tho it was a quick one because i have to work in the afternoon.

Then he told me that he is looking forward in meeting me again. He travelled often and when he was back which was last week, he asked me out again. I feel good when im with him because he is such a gentleman. The kind of guy who would rush to held the door open for you. Coz i walk fast. On our most recent lunch, he would put some food on my played which made me feel good. He told just the other night that he would love to cook for me one of these days. I think its funny because tho i know that he made an effort to see me but i cant jump into a conclusion if he likes ne or what or maybe just expanding his circle of friends are we are both expat in this country.

So i guess i will just go with the flow. So im not sure if i should ask him or what.. I am glad to have found this link and get some ideas about a German man. Hi Can anyone help? We moved in together 4 months ago and things are good on the surface but I often feel like something is missing? He has a quieter personality but he fits most of the criteria mentioned in this article too. The sex has been good but not as frequent as it could be. Things hit a low point when he turned up late for a family dinner recently as he had to work late. He was hardly apologetic and was so tired, he made less of an effort talking to my family.

Who are really important to me…especially if we were to have a future together. Again it started to bother me he was so quiet. Any advice out there? I had to smile when I read Your discription about Ger-Men! I am one of these exotic animals. My first encounter with seeing a German dude. Met him via timder , he was here in the city for 3 weeks for work.

We met up for dinner. We split the bill which was cool for me given we just met on tinder. He was pretty charming and authentic as well as handsome. We had drinks I stayed over and then left the next morning. It felt quite natural. He got busy I got busy and we had random late night messages. He was not one to talk about sex, he was enthusiastic that we have had good conversations about all sorts of topics.

Not something I would normally do given he was essentially a stranger. He was very about schedules which I put down to him being here for work. He was cute cos there was a boyish charm about him from asking me about what Color he should wear.. He invited me to have drinks at the hotel he was at with his colleagues.

He went back to Germany — we talked and he invited me to see his beautiful city. I have just come back and it was an interesting time. I stayed with him during that time — a week. I was concerned I would be in his way and wanted to starless bit he was insistent.

I needed attention — a kiss a hug , touch.. And it definately not natural to him. He is a very warm person with an extremely good heart. But touch is not something that comes naturally. Chivalrous and a gentleman in every other way. He went out of his way to cook for me everyday but yet night times were odd. When it was time for me to leave he took me to the airport and invited me back anytime whether he was there or not to stay at his place. I have hardly heard from him.

He comments on my social media but cannot seem to have a convo longer than hello. Your post is very interesting and informative, thank you! I have been talking to a German guy for almost two months and we finally went out. Things were going very well and we met every week consistently for three weeks and he expressed his interest for me throughout. He also actively texted me his location when he was traveling out of town for work. I like him a lot as he is always genuine and kind. But after the third date after he tried to crack a really dry joke to inform me that he is back in town and I replied with sarcasm because he unknowingly offended me , he stopped texting me actively.

So I decided to text him first for the first time to ask when he wanted to hang out again. He gave me a smiley when he received my text but told me he was busy over the weekend. He did explain in detail who bothers to explain in detail if they are not interested? I would really appreciate any form of insights from fellow readers. I have a German Boyfriend and I am a Filipina. At first I was hesitant since he was so cold and boring but he is such an honest guy. Until we finally decided to meet each other. And I was so surprised he is sooo sweet and loving.

For 21 days that we were together we spent most of the time in our room than strolling around but both of us love beach and diving. Now, he is back to Germany and looking forward to be with him again on April. I miss him badly.. I writing to get some advice about a German man I met online. We have been chatting going on three months. The picture he had on his profile showed that he was an handsome 49 year old.

Im a retired 53 year old woman from the United States. I ve had one other long distance relationship when I was 17 and it was with a boy in the navy. I will call my German man,Andy to protect his privacy. We broke up a day before New Years Eve,bad timing right?..

What a way to start off the New Year!!!.. He did ask me if he sent me a plane ticket ,would I fly to his state and spend the new year with him. Let me back up to the time period before we broke up,our attraction to each other quickly turned into friendship and before a month was up,he had already told me he had feelings for me and the feeling was mutual..

We shared alot of personal aspects of our life during these two months,except where he worked but he told me how much he made and how many children we each had,etc.. He rarely ask me anything too personal but when he did,i promptly answered him. One thing I did notice was he is very laid back,easy going,had a sense of humor,and well mannered.

I waited the whole day,woke up the next day.. I finally just said I was going to be just as stubborn as he is.. Finally out of nowhere he texts me,. I wanted to add,i love Andre and he loves me.

German Dating Guide

I adore his boyish charm and sensuality. I want to be submissive to him,but i also want a partnership with him.. Very interesting story, I wish the best for you two. I would suggest that you go for a trip to the state where he leaves or nearby to relax and have a time for yourself, then when you feel comfortable enough you meet him. I just want to say that was a whole lot of reading in one sitting.. Thankyou all for sharing so much…it has definitely taught me a lot.. He gave me his number and we already chat on whatsapp for one month. Is he shy or something?

I just wonder if he really in to me or not. We are in a really big gap of time difference. We had drinks, later that week I spent the night. It was cool, he seems sweet. He has no free time. I like him so much. I am an American woman and I have met a German man on a date site, we have been texting on and off throughout everyday.

He said he wants to spend all of his life with me through all eternity. I too have very deep feelings for him. He asked me to get a bank account in my name so he could fund it so I could buy things and could pay things he needed done here in America until he got back here. What might be considered romantic, attractive or polite in one culture might not be well received in another. Learning a few German dating tips, however, can help you avoid making dating blunders. Meeting people is easy. Younger people tend to meet at bars and clubs, while the older generation tend to move within their circles of friends.

Surprisingly, Germans are flirtatious and more cheeky than they will admit.

The written word, mostly good.

Eye contact is very important; you need to show that you are confident but not arrogant. German men have a reputation for being insensitive, self-serving and cold. However, there are always exceptions to the rule. By contrast, some German men are surprisingly sensitive, almost to the point of being insecure and unsure of themselves. There is a tendency among German men to date women who are much younger than they are. This more for the fun of dating and socialising rather for long-term or serious relationships.

Usually German men do not plan to wed or have any sexual relations with these younger women. But you know what they say about good intentions and the road to hell. It is common for Germans to marry in their 30s, after several years spent dating. So do not expect a German man to be a domestic wonder, nor be surprised when you come home to find him watching football with a beer.

If you do everything for him, he will not try to stop you. This may surprise some women, but if you order him around, he may find you even more attractive. Germans never do such thing. And respect means telling the truth to somebody, rather than making up some lies to be found out later.

If he said you are beautiful, means he thinks that you really are.


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  5. But if he said that you put on too much make up, you have to seriously consider it on your next date. To get close to someone, you often make some silly jokes or talking about trivial matters endlessly with them. However, that would never happen for a German. Germans are known for their smart and highly educated people. Thus you you will have a long and serious conversation with him. Germans love women with a broad knowledge and critical thinking. Though they seem to dislike spending their time with groundless conversation, Germans did have a good sense of humor.

    Germans common first impression is that they are humorless, but once you get close to them and make them comfortable around you, the did love some silly jokes as much as Americans do. But they indeed have some limit to their jokes. They will tell you all you want about their history if you ask them, but they never accept it as a joke. Germans never think that age is defining some qualities of a person. Germans are very open about this. Also, Germans have tendencies of getting married a bit late than average Americans. Germans living independently and can manage themselves well on their own.

    Men view women in this way as well. They never thought women as a weak and vulnerable one to protect.

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